truth.

Last night one of my friends told me I was insensitive because I find a lot of my relationships very superficial.

He's right.

But I still believe I'm being realistic.

I'm.  so.  stubborn.

back on the bandwagon

Reasons why I might be a terrible person:

1. I think I'm smitten.  But I could never tell him that unless I was sauced.  Actually.

2. Maybe a week or two ago, I was having a chat with a friend and he asked me if I was going to legitimately miss anyone when I graduate.  I named two people.  

3. Last Friday night, I got drunk alone.  

4. I keep forgetting to take out the recycling.  Like, actually forgetting.  

5. When my roommates complain about being fat and alone (which they are not), I sit there in silence, looking around awkwardly.  Often, I change the subject.

6. I haven't had a legitimate meal in a couple weeks because I'm too lazy to do the dishes after.

7. I ate a pizza by myself.  It was not manufactured to be eaten by an individual.  But at least I did the dishes.

8. I don't respond to every text message because it takes me too long.

9. Whenever I pass my second reader's office to go see my thesis advisor, I semi-run because I always feel that the awkward conversation brewing between the two of us needs to be avoided. 

10. I fantasize about smacking the face of the guy in my social inequality class who talks way too much.

hmm.

And so it is the final summer i will have between one undergrad year and another.

That is terrifying.

yikes

I feel...disconnected.

Times like these I wish I was home so I could go see my girlfriends. They help me ease my mind about a lot of things. So far, I don't think I've found anyone I have that same connection with on this side of the country. Is it sad that I haven't found "friends for life" at university? I'm in my third year, for Christ's sake. Sure, good times are had all around and I've met a lot of great people, but the longevity outlook on a great majority of these friendships does not look promising. I haven't had a heartfelt conversation since...my second year. Lots of things lead me to believe that people assume I don't have the capacity for non-superficial conversations because I've become very laid-back. Look, I have a great capacity, so talk to me.

Good lord. I need some change.

long time coming

Well, it's been awhile.

Let's see...the first half of my third year of university: I drank a lot, I studied a lot, I wrote a lot of papers, I kissed a boy or two, I danced plenty, I broke down once or twice, and I met some great people (aaaand not-so-great people). A typical day at the office.

Now we are on to phase two. After a solid week of disregarding all self-control I possess, it's back on the straight-and-narrow for me. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself. Frankly, I can't afford to facilitate my drinking habits nor can my academic career be compromised for 5 hours of Jon & Kate Plus Eight every night with my roommates. Let's throw in two jobs while we're at it. No problem. It's time to shape up. Imma tryin'.

In other news, I think I am due to get over my debilitating fear of rejection if I'm going to move forward in my personal life.

Thank you and good night.

details to follow

My third year has started out kind of strangely. It's probably been this way for awhile, but I've recently come to realize my deep unsatisfaction with the way some things are turning out. It's like I'm at some stand-still point and I'm just watching everything go by; I'm not making any conscious motions towards getting what I want. I don't know where I'm going with this, but I do know that I have to do something. A little help here?

Fuuuuck.

broken promises

I thought I was going to try to keep up my blog. Promises, promises.

I'm trying to think of the significant things that happened this past month and...can't. Since I messed up knee, my exploits have been limited, but I can't complain. This summer has been a very relaxing one. I've had a chance to catch up with family and friends and it's been really nice. Although I am ridiculously excited to get back to Antigonish, I think I'll miss home more than ever when I leave for the upcoming school year. The show must go on.

My honors application was approved. Yeehaw. I is a smart kid.

Last night, Steph, Rachel, and I went to Wild Coyote. I had never been until the other night. Honestly, it's ghetto but I was too drunk to care. Alas, I was up to my old stupiddrunkgirl tricks again. Shit happens.